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michelleakin:

But more importantly, I made dessert:

Bacon steaks (really thick high quality bacon) with a chocolate dip (made with 70% ghirardelli chocolate and Nutella)

And Champagne

Valentines Day.

Also, all night watching of Shark Tank

The following is a blog post that I wrote to my team of fellow life coaches.  I reread it and thought it was something I wanted to share with a lot more people.  Thanks for reading.

You’re not even worth $550 as a life coach. Fuck all of this.

It was a pretty hard thing for me to take as well intended as it was. I felt like I had been bitten by people that I trusted at a time when I was vulnerable. So the only answer for that was to throw up a huge wall that kept all of you out. I think it was plainly visible to everyone that day. All attempts to talk to the Wizard were turned down at the gate of the Emerald City. The Wizard isn’t in try again later.

This began to wear off as the day went by and I was able to function properly again but it still came with a curtain and giant fire breathing hologram head. No one was going to get to me.

The day before at the nursing home I had gotten a similar comment but from Elizabeth. “You should shave your beard”. I didn’t take it as offensive. I saw that she was just a woman like my grandmother, looking out for the young man in front of her. That really stuck with me. What am I afraid of under the beard?

After everything on Sunday I was determined to not undervalue myself any longer. I am worth far more that $550. Channeling my spirit animal Ryan Gosling, I knew I had to look good without the beard. Jessica had recommended getting a shave done at “The Art of Shaving”. Well guess what store exists as soon as you enter Grand Central from the Hyatt? I haven’t shaved using a razor in at least 2 years. I didn’t like my shaved face. I look like a baby. Fuck that. I bought a $500 shaving set. I shaved it all that night.

Under that furry shield was a fat double chinned face. It was 180+ lbs of smoking weed and eating 4 slices of pizza, of not giving a fuck about the way I looked, of thinking I was nothing but a funny person.

By 9pm Sunday I contacted a personal trainer in my neighborhood and Kathy Metcalf (the amazing therapist). This was pure determination to stop looking like I was trying out for the Machinist 2: Fat Machinist.

Tuesday 3pm ,met with Trainer, got my ass kicked for an hour.
Wednesday, Stopped eating all sugar, black coffee only, no bread.

Since then I’ve lost 10lbs. I run a mile without wanting to throw up. My pants are staying up because thankfully I have an ass. I eat nuts and berries for dinner and look forward to it.

I just want to say thank you for being supportive of me. I’ve had a hard time interpreting that in the past. I love every single one of you.

May this be the breakthrough I needed on this as well as my first post of many on this blog.

Your grateful teammate,

Justin